Why Me?
by Princess Schatje Dreamer
Summary: Zack is bored - again. See what he gets up to now. Follow up of 'Coming of Age', part 2 of the Battle of Wits series. A final welcome home to SarissaDiablo -glompses-


AN: Arg, ok, just tried to write the next part to _The Offer _– didn't work. The words are not coming and it _sucks _as I'm quite keen to get it out. *growls* So, here goes nothing but my sanity. I have 30 min to create something to post… A celebration of _**SarrisaDiablo**__'s return home_…

**Edit**: Well, ok I actually didn't manage to finish it so another hour at uni before class starts, and finishing it off…

**Momo**: NO WORRIES! Ze Momo didn't finish her smut gift until a day after and still got through! :D

Hmm… Mayhap a Battle … of Wits? –

Sephiroth Vs. Zack!

Zack's eclectic random Zack-ness versus Sephiroth's rock hard and bottom of a well deep patience! Who shall be the victor? O.o *eerie music starts*coughs* Sorry. Get slightly carried away... Especially with the italics. My reason: Its Zack. Being the Puppy. I also have Momo checking over everything. We can't escape it. o.o

Hmmm… Possible series? Mayhap. Is linked to '_Coming of Age'_.

*Grins* Enjoy!

**Momo**:*Hyena Grin*

~*&*~

General Sephiroth and his Lieutenant Zackary Fair, were the cause of much speculation among those of able mind. Their positions in the ShinRa military and fighting skills, their reputations, their reported personalities, even Zackary's…odd puppylikeness… It caused a great many questions to arise –

"How does the General _stand _him?"

"How can Zack stay in the same room as the General and _not _die?!"

…

The question: "What…are they really like_ in private_?" seemed to be one of the more popular ones.

Well, let's go have a look, shall we?

~*&*~

Silence.

The scratch of pen against paper.

The rhythmic sounds of breathing, two men grown.

"I _still _can't believe _I caught you clipping your nails_."

Sephiroth sighed. And there goes his beloved quiet. While Zack had kept true and not told anyone of that incident, even now, _years _later, he couldn't seem to get over the 'novelty' of catching _The _Great General Sephiroth doing something so… mundane. Sephiroth couldn't help but sigh again, looking at his SiC.

"Is it that you caught me or that I have to clip them at all?"

'_Cue: tilted head.' _And just like he knew the other man would, Zack tilted his head, so like the puppy he is, that infectious grin on his face.

"It's definitely a _bit _of both… but probably more of the last." At Sephiroth's raised brow Zack continued, "I _know _you are human – hell, I'm pretty much the one that has had to remind you of that – it's just that I never really thought you'd have to do something like that – it's just so… weird to see."

"I fail to understand it." Sephiroth stated, watching with trepidation as a familiar spark grew in crystal eyes. "My hair grows, so why wouldn't my nails?"

"… I think that this is something I can't really explain, and that you can't pick up due to that." Zack snickered. "'Sides, I'm actually pretty thankful that you made me promise not to tell anyone – who would have believed me anyway?"

Sephiroth just held in the sigh that wanted to escape. Damn Angeal for _dying _and _leaving him_ - Alone!- with the puppy. '_Sometimes_,' he told himself, '_life just isn't fair_.' He looked up just in time to catch Zack reaching out to poke at a Wutaian Glass Vase – one that was worth a couple thousand Gill, and one of his few prized possessions.

"Zack." The man froze for a moment, and then his eyes rolled over to the older man.

"… Eep?"

Silence for a moment. "What do you think you were doing?" Zack slowly backed away, chuckling with embarrassment.

"Uhm… _looking _at the shiny?" Silence, while a single silver eyebrow rose.

"That is a question and not an answer."

A pause. "Sorry?" Zack threw out hesitantly.

Once again, an awkward silence extended between them.

…

Sephiroth sighed but went back to his piles of paperwork – _it never ends _– and kept a wary eye on his Lieutenant. Zack was feeling curious. As such, that just begged for a disaster to happen.

Crystal eyes drifted upwards, and before long the play of light in the office made those glowing orbs snap, once again, back on his brightly colored, ridiculously expensive vase.

"Zack. Leave." The teen jumped spinning his head to look at Sephiroth in confusion.

"Wha- But I _didn't even _–"

"**Now**."

Zack pouted. "You are being _so _unfair right now." He gasped dramatically. "Just so you know."

Sephiroth shrugged, "I fail to see how wanting you to leave so I can mourn my sanity's slow and painful death as being in any way 'unfair'."

"… Fine. Be that way. See if I care!"

'_And cue: dramatic exit, stage left_.' Sephiroth thought, watching as Zack spun on one heel and stomped out of his door..

~*&*~

Zack pouted.

Reno tapped his chin, considering.

Zack tilted his head.

Reno grinned.

Zack smiled.

Both nodded to the other, and turned to gather the necessary supplies.

~*&*~

Suddenly an explosion rocked the tower. The wails of sirens and cats rang through the otherwise still air – everyone held their breath, waiting to see what effect it would have – Fire? Structural instability? Shrapnel? Fireworks? (1)

Sephiroth pushed his chair back and slowly got to his feet. He went to the large window to his right, and looked out. It seemed that Zack – and probably Reno, looking at the sheer amount of pandemonium caused by it – had found something to do to entertain themselves.

'… _Where on Gaia did they find a bus to blow up_?!'

At first he wanted to whimper and curl into a fetal postion, clutching at his head – '_The paperwork_!' His mind screamed at him, '_**The paperwork**_!~' – but then he smiled slightly. '_Now Tseng and I have a _reason _to keep the buggers busy enough that the thought of repeating such a… an evil paperwork creating act will never enter their heads again_.'

Yet all of this did not smother the small, resigned voice that he was beginning to believe was his slowly dying sanity whimpering;

'Why Me?'

~*&*~

(**1**) Hey, you can never be too sure… **Momo**: *cue mad laughter*

AN: Disclaimer: Me no own. I'd cry a river, but all I could manage would be a small stream… If that. Apparently, my tear ducts fail to function properly due to a lack of sanity *shrugs*smiles* I find myself not minding terribly either way… I still get to play with the boys *grins*

**Momo**: Rofl!

*snickers* **BOOM**! Bus go BOOM! XD I've only been wanting to blow up a bus for a year now – public transport here is evil and should be taken out back, and shot repetitively – but never fear, I would never blow one up with people in it. That is wrong. Very very very wrong.

**Momo**: Even if the thought of watching blood burn and bits of people fly through the air sounds amusing…

O.o"

_But _is it so wrong to want to harm the … _thing_ that gives you headaches and causes you untold amounts of stress? *pouts*

**Momo**: *sniggers, humming Mango*

*glompses **_Sarri_**_****__saDiablo_* Yousa back! And Momo posted her yummy brain-melting smut that she's been teasing me with _forever_ and happy days~

So yea... Insanity struck (Surprised? Hope not…) and this is the result. Hope you enjoyed the ride :D


End file.
